


When You Fall

by notthetoothfairy



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4376954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthetoothfairy/pseuds/notthetoothfairy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine meet at Elliott’s LGBTQ+ support group. Maybe Kurt is exactly the person Blaine needed to talk to about his past. And maybe Blaine can help Kurt get over his trust issues in return. Warnings: Characters talk about bullying, violence, non-supportive parents and death of parents (mostly canon occurrences). One-shot, prompted by anonymous on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Fall

When Elliott had told Kurt he was going to start a support group for LGBTQ+ students at NYADA, Kurt hadn't been sure if many people would be interested in joining. But to his surprise, at their first meeting, eleven people showed up – not even counting Kurt, Dani and Santana. And the group kept growing. Rachel had promised to come to support them but she could only manage to do so a few times because her Broadway schedule kept her too busy.

Well, okay, Santana was only there because Dani nicely asked her to. And then bribed her with sex, Kurt supposed, because asking Santana nicely never had gotten _him_ anywhere. Then again, he wasn't Santana's girlfriend.

It was easy to see that Elliott's yoga retreat had provided him with some inspiration. The support group wasn't just a safe place for discussion and exchange. He included breathing and trust exercises, some methods that Kurt had definitely seen teachers use in his acting classes before, and even music. Kurt jokingly told Elliott he should start teaching in kindergarten but Elliott knew just as much as Kurt that NYADA had been needing a support group.

People had issues to talk about. It was nice to see that they weren't alone with their problems. Kurt certainly felt like he was starting to get more comfortable in his skin. Some of their group members even started dating.

After a while, Kurt somehow became the co-leader of the group. He took over when Elliott couldn't make it or when the group needed two instructors.

The group had been in session for a whole semester and they did a lot of advertising for their first meeting of the new term. The turn-out was great: fifteen newbies. Kurt got them started with a quick overview of what they were going to do in their first session.

As usual, they started with some breathing exercises and moved onto the discussion round. After introductions, a few of the old members shared their stories for the new ones.

"Okay, do any of the new members want to share anything with us?" Elliott asked.

Some did. One girl, Alicia, told everyone how she came out as trans to her parents. Patrick shared the story of his disastrous first date. And then Blaine raised his hand.

He had caught Kurt's eye earlier during introductions. He was a freshman at NYADA, majoring in vocal performance and theatre, just like Kurt. He made Kurt smile when he said that he loved musical theatre but had a burning passion for pop music and felt like most new artists were really underrated. There weren't many people who would dare to say something like that at a school like NYADA.

"I… I went to school in Ohio," Blaine said. Kurt cringed. How familiar that sounded. "I was lonely a lot. There was only one other boy at my school who was openly gay and when the Sadie Hawkins dance came around, we decided to go together… and…"

There was a pause. Elliott spoke up.

"You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to, Blaine."

Blaine nodded. "I know. I want to share."

"Okay then. You went to Sadie Hawkins?" Elliott prompted.

Blaine gulped. "Yeah. We had fun. It wasn't a date but for the first time, being gay didn't feel like a burden. But there were these three guys… they waited for us in the parking lot and… they beat us up before his parents could pick us up."

Kurt held his breath. How old would Blaine have been at the time?

"I was in the hospital for weeks," Blaine continued with a small voice. "My mother was so worried I was going to get beat up again. And… my father was constantly going on about how it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't gay."

Kurt saw a few people shaking their heads in sad disbelief. These stories were common in the group. Kurt made a metal note of talking about his dad in the next round. It seemed to cheer people up most of the time. Sure, Kurt hadn't had the happiest of times in high school but at least his dad had loved him no matter what.

Blaine wasn't finished, though. "My father wasn't the only one who thought so. I had a long talk with the faculty. But they made it very clear that they couldn't do anything for me. Things at my school weren't going to change."

"What did you do then?" Elliott asked and Kurt could see from the way Blaine frowned and his eyes glistened that the next part pained him more than anything he had told them before.

"Nothing," Blaine whispered. "I did nothing. I ran. I transferred to a private school."

Kurt felt a sting in his chest and leaned close to Elliott immediately. "Let me handle him?" he suggested quietly. He felt Elliott's nod more than he saw it.

"Thank you for sharing, Blaine," Elliott said. "Okay, everyone, we'll split up into small groups of two and do some trust exercises! Choose a partner and head over to the window side of the room."

Kurt shot Elliott and appreciative look and walked over to Blaine quickly before anyone else could approach him. "Wanna be partners?" he asked as casually as possible. He didn't want Blaine to know he was choosing him on purpose.

Blaine blinked up at him in surprise. "S-sure," he said. "I'm Blaine."

Kurt chuckled. "I remember. I'm not sure if you caught my name during the introductions, though. It's Kurt."

"Nice to meet you, Kurt," Blaine said. It would've been quite charming if Blaine hadn't seemed so nervous and self-conscious, but oddly enough, Kurt found that endearing as well.

"Likewise," Kurt answered and started heading towards the bigger section of the room where Elliott had put a dozen yoga mats on the floor. He reminded everyone to take off their shoes before standing on the mats, facing their partner.

Kurt usually paired up with Elliott but he felt comfortable enough by now to switch partners every once in a while. Elliott had actually praised him the first time he volunteered to team up with a new member of the group and told Kurt that he was proud of him for confronting his trust issues so bluntly. It was the first time Kurt had even realized that he had a problem with trusting people. It made sense, though, and it made even more sense that Elliott was the one to recognize it. Kurt hadn't exactly been easy on him the first few times they met.

"So, you're from Ohio," Kurt began, once Blaine had comfortably leaned forward to be caught by Kurt's hands on his shoulders a few times. They did this facing each other first because Elliott wanted to give them a chance to build a connection before doing the same thing back to front.

"Can't recommend it for a vacation," Blaine said at once, stretching his toes a bit like Elliott instructed before leaning forward again.

Kurt smiled at him, happy that Blaine seemed to get used to him so easily. "Oh, I know," he said. "I'm from Lima."

Blaine straightened up. "No way!" he exclaimed. "I used to live there. But my family moved to Westerville, after- um, after I transferred."

Kurt had caught the sudden change in tone and he knew he was on to something. Pushing wasn't going to help, though, so he focused on something else for the moment.

"Did you go to McKinley?" he asked. "That was my high school."

"I wish," Blaine said. "You guys had a great glee club."

Elliott told them to switch so Kurt was the one leaning forward now. He didn't like this part as much as catching people and he knew it was a control thing. But in Blaine's case, he also didn't want to crush the guy. Kurt had a couple of inches on him, after all. But he knew he had to keep going to get Blaine to open up so he pushed through his initial resistance.

He was surprised when Blaine's grip on his shoulders was firm and he steered him back up into a standing position easily. The surprise must have shown in his face because Blaine chuckled quietly.

"I used to box," he provided. "Makes for strong arms."

"Impressive," Kurt said, barely managing to keep his blush down. "Anyway, yes, glee club was actually the only thing getting me through that hellhole."

"You were in the New Directions?" Blaine asked and eagerly put up his hands again to catch Kurt once more.

Kurt nodded and they stayed silent for a while, Blaine guiding Kurt into the default position over and over again until Elliott told them to sit on the mats back to back and just feel the shared energy flow through their backs.

"Why was it hell?" Blaine suddenly asked. It was mostly quiet around them, except for a few whispers from other teams, and Kurt could have sworn he had not actually heard Blaine but felt his voice through their backs.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Your high school," Blaine elaborated.

"Oh, that," Kurt said. "I was bullied. The football players didn't like my flamboyant outfits. And one of them was a closeted Neanderthal who thought it would be a good idea to kiss me right after I confronted him. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone"

Kurt could feel Blaine exhale deeply. He sometimes forgot the effect that his story could have on people. He had told it so many times in the round that the words had lost their initial meaning. The only time he still got scared was in his dreams or on a particularly bad day. Whenever it happened, he called his dad. Burt had been adamant that Kurt would call him whenever he was frightened and he didn't mind his son ringing him up in the middle of the night.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine said sincerely. "What did you do?"

"I didn't tell anyone," Kurt answered, pressing a bit more of his back into Blaine's to feel the warmth that eradiated from him. It had a calming effect on him. "I don't believe in outing. They suspended him for a while but he was allowed back at school within weeks. He learned to stay out of my way, though. And he's out now, as far as I know."

"Kurt, that is so brave of you," Blaine breathed. "I never would have had the guts to stay at that school after something like that had happened."

There it was. The thing that had bothered Kurt when Blaine had told his story earlier. Did he really think so little of himself?

Kurt turned his head to the right as far as possible and looked for Blaine's hand. As soon as he spotted it, he took it in his own.

"Blaine," he said firmly and quietly next to Blaine's ear. "I was so scared. If my family had been able to pay for private school, I would have taken the opportunity to get out of there at once. I stayed because there was no other choice. You're not any less brave just because you were able to get out."

Blaine sighed. "No, I ran," he said. "I even left my friend behind. The one who was beaten up as well. His family didn't want him to transfer."

"I'm sure he would have wanted you to go, Blaine," Kurt said. "You were lucky, Blaine, but that doesn't make you a coward. And you're out now, aren't you? Do you realize how much bravery that takes? You're so brave, Blaine."

The back pressed to his own started to shake a little and the fingers tangled with Kurt's squeezed a bit too hard to be comfortable. It took Kurt a second to realize that Blaine was crying. He was at a loss for a moment. It didn't exactly go as he had planned – but at least he had gotten out what he had wanted to say to Blaine ever since he spoke up in the round. He signaled Elliott that he and Blaine were taking five and quietly asked him to come with him. He steered him out into the hallway and sat him down on a bench.

"Blaine, look at me," he said.

He was met with a pair of wet eyes. Kurt couldn't stop himself. He took Blaine's face into both hands and wiped the tears off his cheeks with his thumbs while making soothing noises.

"It's okay to cry, you know," he told Blaine. "It doesn't change anything. I still think you're brave."

Blaine nodded. And let out another sob, before saying, "Nobody has ever called me that before."

* * *

They had stayed outside for a few minutes before Blaine had been able to collect himself and go back in. Kurt had assured him that he didn't have to, that he could just sit down for a bit, but Blaine had shaken his head no.

"I want to," he had said. "I think I need to."

Kurt had squeezed his hand and opened the door for him. Blaine's head had sat a little higher on his head than when he had walked in for the first time. It was progress.

Once back inside, they noticed that the group had moved onto the last trust exercise. One person had to stand with their back to their partner who had to catch them by putting their hands on their shoulder blades.

Elliott came over to them when Kurt and Blaine went into position on the mat again.

"You don't have to continue if you feel uncomfortable," he assured them.

"It's fine, I trust him," Blaine said confidently and Kurt couldn't oppress the smile that plastered itself onto his face at once.

"How about you, Kurt? Are you alright? I know you don't like this exercise all that much."

Kurt was glad Elliott cared about his feelings as well but he shook his head. "I'm okay, Elliott, thank you."

Once Blaine had fallen back into Kurt a few times, he spoke up again. "You don't like this exercise?"

Kurt pushed him into a standing position before answering, keeping his hands on Blaine's shoulders.

"Relying onto a person who might just leave you hanging – or falling, in this case – is not really my style," Kurt said. "I like to do things on my own. Elliott says I have trust issues."

"Do you?" Blaine asked, letting himself fall back so easily that Kurt wondered if trust had ever been an issue in Blaine's life.

"Yeah, I guess," Kurt answered. "I'm cautious with new people in my life."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"No, it's not," Kurt agreed. "But it makes me push people away almost involuntarily. I can't let go, you know? Give up control and let someone else take over for a while."

If Blaine had an answer or even a solution for Kurt, he wasn't able to share it with Kurt because Elliott spoke up again to remind them to switch partners. Blaine spun around with a bright smile and motioned for Kurt to turn around as well.

Kurt didn't feel half as enthusiastic as Blaine but he knew he could do it. Blaine was easily the most agreeable partner he had had so far, Elliott maybe being an exception because Kurt already trusted him more than any of his other friends. Elliott instructed the catching partners to put their hands on their partners' shoulder blades and the falling partners to push back a little to test out if the connection was strong enough.

Kurt could feel Blaine's hands stroke his shoulders a few times. Then he leaned forward a little and Kurt knew he had to stand on his tiptoes to get his mouth up all the way next to Kurt's ear.

"Do you trust me?" Blaine muttered quietly. Kurt suppressed the urge to shiver – a good shiver from the feeling of Blaine's breath on his ear, a bad one from the question itself.

"Is this going to be a Titanic scene, Mr. DiCaprio?" he shot back sarcastically. Great. There he went, deflecting again.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said shyly, leaning away from Kurt quickly. "I thought it might help to ask."

"It usually makes it worse" Kurt admitted and turned around briefly to look Blaine in the eye. "Don't feel bad, I'm just… complicated with this stuff."

"Okay, I won't ask again. But I promise I'll catch you," Blaine said, sounding a bit more confident than before.

"Let's go with that," Kurt agreed.

And Blaine kept his promise. Kurt had a hard time letting go at first but he pushed through and was rewarded with positive reassurance every time he did. Blaine had an… interesting way of congratulating him, sometimes letting out a tiny, absolutely adorable squeal, and other times just rubbing Kurt's shoulders briefly.

Kurt felt himself relax and even closed his eyes at one point. After a particularly long fall, he opened his eyes only when he was back in standing position and when he did, he could feel Elliott's gaze on him. The look his friend shot him made Kurt blush. Raised eyebrows, a smirk and a sideway glance at Blaine told Kurt everything he needed to know from Elliott. Apparently, the look he shot back told Elliott something along the lines as well, because he just smirked a bit more and then turned around and went to help someone else.

"Thanks, Blaine," Kurt said when they sat down on the mat next to each other, putting their shoes back on.

"For what?" Blaine wanted to know, curious tone in his voice.

"For understanding when I snapped at you. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be mean, just-"

"-pushing away involuntarily, I get it," Blaine said easily.

"Exactly," Kurt breathed, relieved.

"Thank you, too, Kurt."

"What for?"

"Calling me brave," Blaine said. "And making Elliott switch from round to one-on-one time. I appreciate it."

"Ah, so you knew what I was doing," Kurt said with a small grin.

"You're not _that_ mysterious, no" Blaine laughed.

"Ouch," Kurt teased. "If you keep that attitude up, I'll never be your partner again."

* * *

They were partners every time from that session on. Elliott had his hands full, anyway, because new people kept joining the group and Blaine had clicked so easily with Kurt that Elliott seemed glad to pair them together at every chance he got. Even if he didn't, Kurt usually walked over to Blaine before Blaine could even contemplate asking Kurt to be his partner.

Sometimes he wished he could have Kurt's self-confidence. Or his old self-confidence back. He remembered how it felt putting on the blazer like a second skin – like turning on the confidence switch and falling into an automatic strut that felt more empowering than anything.

Coming to New York without his safety blanket had been scary. But he was slowly adjusting to everything.

Sam and he had moved into an apartment with an old friend of Kurt's. Blaine was pretty sure Sam had started dating Mercedes in secret – or, well, at least they both weren't subtle in hiding their crush on each other – but Blaine didn't want to intrude their privacy so he just pretended not to notice.

NYADA felt a bit more familiar every day. Sometimes he met Kurt or someone else from the support group in the hallway and stopped to chat a bit. He made friends. He got along with his teachers.

He also developed quite a crush of his own. Kurt and him had exchanged numbers and they texted quite frequently, Kurt usually commenting on the newest school gossip with that sarcastic humor of his and Blaine sending him dorky pictures of animals or random things he found while wandering the streets of New York in endless wonder.

But something was bothering him and it took a few weeks for him to muster up the courage to ask Kurt about it.

"How long have Elliott and you been dating?" he blurted out when Kurt took a seat next to him in the round. _Smooth, Blaine. First words you have said to him today. Awesome._

But Kurt had been talking to Elliott when they were still setting up the room and they were laughing and leaning close to each other and even touching occasionally and Blaine had barely been able to comprehend the text message he had gotten from Sam because he was so jealous.

However, the question elicited a choked-off laugh from Kurt, which puzzled Blaine because there wasn't really anything funny about, was there?

"Blaine, oh my god," Kurt managed to say between gasps that made him clutch Blaine's shoulder in support. He slowly collected himself and then cleared his throat. "Elliott and I… have never been and will never be a thing."

Blaine felt foolish all of a sudden. And a little fuzzy because Kurt had yet to remove his hand from his shoulder and it didn't look like it was happening anytime soon. Not that he was complaining. Especially not if Kurt was actually single. Oh, but what if he wasn't?

"I hate to admit it," Kurt continued as if he had been reading his mind, "but I had imagined New York to offer a lot more guys worth dating. You know? You'd think that there would be a ton of cute and nice guys roaming the streets of Manhattan but… nah." He nudged Blaine's leg with his own and shot him a playful look. "Who knew the best-looking guys can be found in Ohio, huh?"

Blaine was sure it wasn't humanly possible to blush harder than he did.

"Hey Elliott!" Kurt shouted. "Can you believe Blaine thought you and I were dating?"

After Elliott came down from a laughing fit similar to the one Kurt had had before, he shot back, "That is indeed extremely hard to believe, especially considering how hard you two have been flirting for the past few weeks!"

Okay, never mind. It sure was possible to blush harder. But at least Kurt was sporting a matching colour in his cheeks.

* * *

Elliott made them all sit straddling their chairs with their backs turned away from the round and their eyes closed. Kurt hadn't quite managed to will his blush down but he felt giddy knowing that Blaine might feel the same way about him. He smiled to himself, waiting for Elliott to give further instructions.

"Okay, everyone, let's make some noise," Elliott announced. "You don't have to do anything if you don't feel like it or you can just hum a bit. But if you feel comfortable enough, you can sing. It doesn't matter what you sing – it can be a melody you know or just invented, a song that has been stuck in your head or something that reminds you of a happy feeling."

Everyone laughed a bit when Santana broke into "I just had sex" but it died down quickly enough for Elliott to continue.

"We're going to do this for a few minutes and you can join in whenever you want to and however loud you want. Just make sure you feel cozy, okay? Let's go!"

Kurt just focused on his own noises at first, humming a quiet melody that he made up on the spot but then he realized that it slowly morphed into "Blackbird" (Rachel had put on the Beatles the night before and he hadn't managed to get it out of his head), so he opened his mouth a bit more and put the words to the melody. After a while, he trained his ears to listen to others in the round as well.

He could make out Santana's and Dani's voices. Apparently, they had chosen a Beatles song as well. They were harmonizing to "Here Comes The Sun".

Some others were just making humming noises. Someone was singing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star".

And then he could hear another voice, so soft but clear as day.

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream…_

Of course Blaine could sing. He had told Kurt that he was the lead singer of the Warblers but Kurt had never actually connected the dots. He was sure he was messing up the words to his own song now but he couldn't care less. Blaine singing a Katy Perry song like it was a freaking ballad was probably the most intriguing thing he had ever heard in his life.

Elliott told them to come to a stop slowly and Kurt sung the last bar of his song. He was almost sure that Blaine had ended on the same note as him.

"Now, didn't that feel great?" Elliott asked. Kurt had to suppress a smile. Sometimes he still did think Elliott would have been great as a kindergarten teacher. But he actually felt so great in this group and made so much progress with opening up to people that he couldn't make fun of Elliott for being such a spiritual doofus anymore. It had worked somehow, after all.

They were asked to partner up again and naturally, Blaine's eyes found Kurt's immediately. They were both somewhat shy now that Elliott had spilled the beans for both of them but it just made it a bit more exciting, and maybe even promising, to spend the next half hour in a one-on-one exercise.

Blaine shot Kurt a meaningful look when Elliott announced they would be doing the famous trust exercise again and Kurt was sure that Elliott was doing this on purpose. From kindergarten teacher to yoga yoda to match-maker. Kurt had to admit he was good at it.

They positioned themselves across from each other.

"Do I go first?" Blaine asked casually. He didn't sound unsure, like the first few times they had done this. Kurt liked that new attitude. Blaine had been endearing, still was, actually, most of the time. But the confident tone did him good. He was… charming.

"Sure, go ahead," Kurt said, smiling at him and putting up his hands to catch him. Blaine let himself fall forward with ease, as he always had, ever since the first time they had partnered up.

"You let go so fast," Kurt observed in awe, not for the first time.

Blaine shrugged. "I'm a trusting person. It makes me exploitable and naïve sometimes but I can't exactly stop believing in the best in people."

Kurt nodded. Blaine has told him all about his first boyfriend, Sebastian, and how he had trusted him so much he didn't even realize Sebastian was only dating him because his father owned the company Sebastian wanted to work for. Kurt's heart had ached for Blaine.

And then it had ached for himself. How many people had he pushed away in fear of what Blaine had experienced? How many times had he stopped himself from falling in love because his dad had been so devastated after his Elizabeth's death?

He had ruined the one relationship he had because he thought Adam was just trying to suck up to Rachel to get his foot in the door with the Broadway directors she worked with. Even after they had talked it out and it was clear Adam's big dream wasn't Broadway but the London West End, it hadn't worked out. Kurt just hadn't managed to fall in love with Adam.

And he had sworn himself to never stop himself from falling for someone if they seemed worthy of his love.

"Let's switch," he suddenly prompted.

"So soon?" Blaine asked, his eyebrows lifting in confusion but his hands coming up, anyway. "You usually need more ti-"

"Don't worry about that," Kurt said, already letting himself fall. "I trust you."

However, his words had apparently caught Blaine off guard so much that he only realized he had a job to do when Kurt was almost well on his way too falling onto his face.

"Oh my god, Kurt, sorry, I-"

The panic in Blaine's voice made Kurt laugh.

"Seriously, of all the times you could have let me fall, you choose this one," he said giggling.

Blaine looked torn between amusement and misery. "I swear I didn't mean to-" he started but Kurt interrupted him.

"You caught me, didn't you?"

Blaine nodded.

"So, my trust was well-placed," Kurt decided, grinning widely at Blaine.

Blaine smiled back. "Can we try again?" he asked.

"Sure."

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned forward. He felt Blaine's hands catch him easily this time, holding him safely and pushing him back up slowly. But not all the way. Before he could get back on his feet in the default position, Blaine leaned close and touched his forehead to Kurt's.

"Kurt?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Blaine?" Kurt asked back, eyes opening slowly and focusing on Blaine's intense gaze.

"Flirting usually leads to kissing," Blaine said hesitantly. "Right?"

"I would assume so," Kurt whispered, his breath hitching a bit.

"So… can I?" Blaine asked with a small tilt of his head. "Kiss you, I mean?"

"I would like that very much," Kurt answered. "But don't you want to put me back-"

He was interrupted by Blaine's lips on his and he let out a small, appreciative noise. Blaine's fingers curled around his shoulders and dug a little deeper the more pressure he applied to the kiss. He knew he was smiling into the kiss and when Blaine had safely steered him back up into a standing position with their lips still locked, he could feel Blaine smile against his lips, too.

"I wanted to hold you just a bit longer," Blaine admitted when he broke the kiss. "I liked it that you trusted me enough to do that."

Kurt smiled and gave him another peck on the lips. "Admit it, you just wanted to show off those killer arms you got from boxing."

Blaine hung his head, shaking with silent laughter. Over his hair, Kurt caught a glance of Elliott who was grinning at him with both thumbs up. Kurt winked at him.

When Blaine looked back up, he had a sheepish look on his face.

"Was that too forward?" he asked.

"What was?"

"The kiss," Blaine said.

"Not at all," Kurt answered. "I kind of like it when you take charge. Confidence suits you."

He got an eager kiss in response and Kurt suddenly found that trusting Blaine was probably the easiest thing he had ever done – really, he had fallen for Blaine a long time ago, just waiting for Blaine to catch him.


End file.
